Garbage Time Week 1, Spooky Edition
Welcome back to year two of the Stop the Flop Dynasty Basketball League.
How absurd are Russell Westbrook and Anthony Davis? How more absurd is it that both of their owners lost? Well, at least we can always count on the Trail Blazers losing.
Week one is in the books people, and you know what that means! Fantasy Basketball is back, and so is everyone's favorite time of the week. What time is it? It's Garbage Time!
Let's Get Started...
GAME OF THE WEEK
Minnesota Timberwolves(Joey Payne) vs. Toronto Raptors(Bradley Setzer)
The T-Wolves kicked off their season the same way they ended it last year, with a win. James Harden looks fantastic while the real life Houston Rockets lost to the Lakers, which is great news for Joey, because that means tons of minutes and production from Harden. But I'll tell you, Anthony Davis really, really didn't want Joey to win. You let him down Bradley Setzer. Just like the rest of the Pelicans do every night.
Shame.
UPSET OF THE WEEK
Charlotte Hornets(Logan Stringfield) vs. Miami Heat(Travis Timmons)
I think the Hornets are Miami's kryptonite. They ended their winning streak last year, and they start this year by besting the top fantasy player of the week in Russell Westbrook. Miami will bounce back, but this begins a new chapter for the Hornets. They have a much stronger team this year on the back of returning studs, Kevin Durant and Andre Drummond. Not to mention the new roles of Myles Turner and Jeremy Lin. They could prove themselves to be one of the teams to beat this season.
BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK
Houston Rockets(Beau Johnson) vs. Portland Trail Blazers(Matt Parlier)
Good on the Rockets for starting the season with a win. Albeit against the Cleveland Browns of our league, the Portland Trail Blazers. With the lowest team total this week of a paltry 721.5 they might be that bad, expansion team bad. When your highest scoring player of the week is Rudy Gay, it might be time to tear it down and start over. But hey, it's only week one, there's still time to right the ship.
DISGRACE OF THE WEEK
Chicago Bulls(Kris Anderson) vs. Boston Celtics(Sam Baker)
This isn't a weekly segment, I just needed to call some bitches out. What even was this game? It looks like neither of you set your lineups for half of the games. On the bright side, you happened to play each other, so it remained close all week while your benches put up points. I just have two words for you guys. Do better.
STUD OF THE WEEK
Zip, nada, nobody. No one had a night that would let them cash in daily. Sad life. It's astonishing that the night Brow put up 100 fantasy points, Setzer had a full lineup and still didn't manage to break 300.
DUD OF THE WEEK
With the goose egg.
Tune in next week, same garbage time, same garbage channel. In the meantime here's the king of spooky himself David S. Pumpkins with some spooky skeltals. Happy Halloween!
