WEEK 7 WRAP-UP

I always find the best part of the fantasy football playoffs lately to be that I get to just coast and finally give all of my attention to the NBA season.  Joey touched on this in the dynasty football league that we are a part of, but fantasy football is a fucking crapshoot. It's so bloody random. And he's 100% correct. 

Basketball has no such problems. Sure, guys can have bad nights, but you generally know what you're getting with each game, the avg fppg statistic actually means something. Having a full 7 nights also gives you chance after chance after chance to pull out a win, and not just lose because your best player decided to shit a brick one night. 

Basketball is more of a time investment than football, but that investment actually pays dividends most of the time. The research you do, the numbers you run, they all mean something. There is no world that exists where your #1 draft pick in fantasy basketball doesn't finish around the same position you drafted him in barring sweeping changes to their situation. The only player that I could really label a complete bomb relative to their draft position is LaMarcus Aldridge. But in football? your lucky if your 1st pick finishes in the top 10 at their position let alone overall. Case in point? For my work league, which is 12-team PPR, the 2nd pick of our draft? Todd Gurley. Sad life for that guy. But for the NBA? If we go back to our draft from last year, the top 10 is virtually the same as it would be this year, were we to redraft, the only difference would be the ascension of Whiteside and Giannis knocking Dame, CP3, or Kawhi to the 2nd round.

TL;DR: Fantasy Basketball is so much better than football. 

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let's talk shop. This week pretty much kept the status quo. The only upset was the Celtics eeking one out against the Raptors. Could this be the start of a turn around? Just remember:

Without further ado, on with the show! It's Garbage Time bayyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK

Logan did to Kris, what Sam Dekkar did to Enes Kanter. He straight embarrassed him.  If you need visual representation, here's exhibit A.

You wouldn't know it by the end result, but Kris actually won two nights. But he also neglected to set his lineup multiple nights as well, leading to a complete humiliation to the tune of 500 points. This makes three losses in a row for the Bulls, and two wins in a row for the Hornets. The Bulls face a Raptors squad reeling from a Celtics loss this week, while the Hornets will try to increase their lead in Eastern Conference against a top-ranked Kings squad that have won their last three contests.

GAME OF THE WEEK

If the past two weeks have taught me anything, it's that I now believe that Sam and his Celtics actually do give a shit and are committed to this league and to turning around their team. The Celtics desperately needed this win, and they got it. And from the looks of it, the Rockets, Blazers, and Heat could take some notes, because this could mark the beginning of a winning streak for the C's and fantasy player of the week LeBron James, who's looking like the winning side of that blockbuster deal with the Minnesota Timberwolves. Boston took the week four nights to three including a 300 burger night one over the Raptors who have now lost in back to back weeks. The Raptors will fight to move up the standings while hoping the Bulls forget to set their lineups again in week eight. While Boston draws a very winnable match-up against the still floundering Miami Heat who are now 1-6 after a blowout loss to the Spurs in week seven.

NIGHT OF THE WEEK

The C's were the only squad to post a 300+ point night this week.  They hit 313.5 on night one on the back of Klay Thompson's absurd 60-real point night in 29 minutes against the Indiana Pacers.

That will do it for this week's Garbage Time. Next week will see the results of two potential upsets with the Trail Blazers taking on the Timberwolves, and the Rockets taking on the Spurs.  Meanwhile, a game of the week candidate in the making with Charlotte vs. Sacramento. Until next time!

Week 5&6 Wrap Up

After the Holiday weekend and getting a little much needed R&R, it's time to get back to the grind. But seeing as I have two weeks to cover, I thought I'd shake it up a bit, so instead of two of each award, one for each week, I'm going to add some awards and stretch them to cover both weeks. So without further ado, welcome to this week's special 2-week edition of Garbage Time!

A Contender falls...

It's been a rough couple weeks for Kris and the Bulls. Kid can't catch a break. The Bulls went into last week as one of four teams with a 3-1 record, faces my Kings, I go off on a short week, posting three 300 point games, then proceeds to get blown out by the 'self-proclaimed worst team' Portland Trailblazers. #feelsbadman. The Bulls managed to go from a .750 win percentage to .500 in two weeks is rough, and his road to redemption isn't getting any easier in week seven.  

Meanwhile, in other league news, Joey traded LeBron to the Celtics, whom Sam subsequently tried to give away for peanuts. Oh, and Miami finally won a game! It's still amazing to me that I'm just now saying that in week seven, when before the season started, the Heat were viewed as a contender, but instead their seasons kind of mirroring the Carolina Panthers. 

Now that we've caught up a bit, let's get down to it. Who's been the best? Who's been the worst? Who's posted point totals that would shame their mothers? It's that time again, it's Garbage Time!

TEAM OF THE WEEK

Numbers don't lie.  My Kings are looking pretty good lately. Boogie's balling out with a broken finger on his shooting hand, thus making him the only player in the NBA currently capable of playing through an injury. And while he may not put up Russell Westbrook numbers, he did ample in delivering me, not only to first place in total points scored overall, but the top total score in both week five and six, and contributed to four 300 point nights, putting the Chicago Bulls on a 2-game skid, and spoiling the Rocket's first 300 point night of the season in a week Joey and I both thought we were both destined to lose. But turns out Destiny is a fickle bitch and we both spoke too soon.

DUMPSTER FIRE OF THE WEEK

The Celtics continued their year of continued all-around awfulness posting the lowest overall 2-week total, in route to two losses to take their overall record to 1-5. It wasn't for a lack of trying though, as Sam made the first blockbuster trade of the season, moving DeMar DeRozan, and acquiring LeBron James from the Minnesota Timberwolves. I mean it's two seasons in a row, and Joey has made two trades involving LeBron James in which both teams that weren't the Timberwolves began horrible losing streaks. Not saying there's a connection, but you know, just sayin'.

MATCH OF THE WEEK

This was a tough one to decide, My first instinct told me to pick the week five match between the Spurs and Hornets. Good game, between two contenders, that came down to a last-ditch effort by the Hornets falling short. Great story, I had even written up an entire paragraph already, but as I poured over the numbers to look for drama, what I saw wasn't the back-and-forth slobber-knocker the end result represented. Instead, I saw a week where the Hornets never actually had a lead, had unused acquisitions, and where the Spurs had actually used 0 acquisitions, so he essentially won with no effort.  So here is the actual MotW winner.

This game was ridiculous, the runner-up for this was Minnesota vs. Miami, but there was one subtle difference. The number of lead changes.  While Minnesota, ironically, also took over control of the game on 12/2 with a 300 point night as the Kings did. The Kings started the week with the lead before ceding nights two and three and landing in a 117 point deficit on the back of Beau's first 300 point night. Things looked bleak until December 2nd when I posted my own 300 point night and seized the lead for the 2nd time and denied Beau's wish to hold a win over my head for the rest of time. So all I have to say is, SUCK IT BEAU, I WIN!

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COMEBACK OF THE WEEK

The Heat's quest for a 2nd win seemed all but assured through the first four nights of the week until Joey decided to show he was actually Dwight Howard playing basketball with a child all along and do this.

A 302 point night five ripped victory from the jaws of defeat and pushed the Timberwolves to 5-1 through six weeks.

NIGHT OF THE WEEK

Remember, remember the (twenty)fifth of November. Or at least, that's what I would be saying if Logan wasn't an absolute madman and decided to go off for 337 points on November 30th.  Only two, TWO, of his players had LESS THAN 40! Completely ridiculous. Well played, sir.

HOT GARBAGE OF THE WEEK

No one's getting this award, but instead Thanksgiving itself is. Because there was no basketball, and when there is no basketball, it is a sad day.

That's all folks! Week seven has a chance to cause a lot of upsets, so we shall see what's in store. I can't wait

Week 4 and What Just Happened

No undefeated's remain, while Miami remains as the lone win-less team.

Week four guys...Just damn...So many close games...(and this is for Logan, but can I just say one minute and twenty-five seconds? Fucking REALLY!?) Between that, AJ Green tearing his hamstring, Casey Neistat ending his vlog, and just the emotional roller coaster that was following the final few minutes of last nights games all while watching my week four total slowly creep up only to fall short. I'm just drained this morning, I can only handle so much disappointment, but time drudges on and so must I, I only offer this disclaimer, this may seem, at times to be a bad beat article, it's not, it has a point, bare with me, I think you'll be glad you did, let's do this thing. 

GAME OF THE WEEK

Some losses just hurt more than others. Maybe it's frustration from waking up at 12:30 and not being able to add a player when I had one claim remaining...maybe it's all the injuries my team has and the not having the IR available to hold them...maybe it's my team getting my hopes up, and the only thing that could save me, overtime, happening, before being taken away, in this instance.                               

Maybe, it's because, when it comes to basketball, I always lose to Joey. Last year's finals, last year regular season, finals the year before that, and the finals the year before that. I had essentially accepted that it was going to happen again, but my team decided to keep me hopelessly optimistic and when the above happened, I saw 102-102 on my phone with no time remaining.

I was down seven points, I have Boogie in play, and Rondo, and Robin Lopez, I have a chance. Then nope...clock malfunction apparently, I see two things happen, score changes to 102-99, and Boogie loses 2 points. Down by nine. Three minutes left in the Bulls-Lakers game. Lopez is not in the game, Rondo is, he get's an assist, then a rebound, then another rebound, I'm within 5. Swaggy P hits a 3, to make the game 110-112. Forty-five seconds remaining. It could happen...This game could go to OT. Only problem. My phone said it as 110-112, says bad pass, Taj Gibson turnover, I get optimistic again, it's going to happen. As if my team was willing this overtime into existence. But it wouldn't happen, the score, for whatever reason didn't update, it was actually 110-115. Game ends 110-118. My night ends. Down five.

It's like a cosmic joke, they dangled a carrot in my face then took it away...This all leads to a bunch of hypothetical's and what-if's that I'm sure all of you undergo weekly. What if I woke up an hour earlier? Had an extra player? Surely they would have won me the game, actually yes, I was planning on adding Luol Deng in the revenge spot, he didn't do great, but 15 points would have done it. But that's fantasy. See I could have added him, just as Boogie could have had a decent game, I mean it was against Jonas after all, everyone goes off on Jonas. But instead, Jonas went the fuck off, in what was another twist of the knife, Jonas had a Boogie-like score, while Boogie had a Jonas-like score. That Raptors-Kings overtime could have happened as well.

But it didn't. Timberwolves win it, fair and square, both teams move to 3-1.

It's the best of what I love and hate about fantasy. So many things can go wrong, or right, and yet it elicits real emotion. Anything can happen, it was a fucking roller coaster, and I come out the other side emotionally drained, not because I'm mad, or upset... Disappointed, sure, but no, I emerge from this week drained because I fucking love it. It's why I write this article every week, and play season after season. It's for games like these.

In the end I can only elicit one response to Joey, my friend, who has been my rival these past seasons, and that is this...Good Game.

BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK

What happened to the Heat guys? They pulled a Carolina Panthers this year, going from a contender and favorite before the season to just being, as Charles Barkley would say, turrible. If you told me before the season started, that the team that has Westbrook would be win-less through week 4,  I would have laughed. But here we are.

I don't even know if Travis is trying, 1/7 acquisitions used? Gonna try to convince me E'Twaun Moore and J.R. Smith are too valuable to drop? You're gonna lose that argument bruh. 

1307-756, that's just embarrassing. Not saying the Heat could have won, 1300 is a lot, but you could have tried.  Good on Bradley though, that's back-to-back 1300 point games heading into week 5 against a Trail Blazers team that's determined to usurp the Heat for the bottom of the standings. The Heat, meanwhile, get a match-up with the newly cemented 2-win Houston Rockets.

UPSET OF THE WEEK

The Rocket's have won two games, it's all ogre now, might as well pack it in for the season. In what can only be described as an absolute shocker, Beau's Houston Rocket's toppled the undefeated Charlotte Hornets four of the seven nights to win with a final score of 1413.5-1327.5, all on the back of the Fantasy player of the week, Hassan Whiteside's, who's rocketing up the player rankings (pun definitely intended) as well, with a good showing of 233 fantasy points, an average of 58.25 per game. Week 5 will see the Rocket's try to extend their winning streak to 2 against the abysmal Miami Heat, while the Hornet's get a much tougher match-up against the 2-2 Spurs. 

NIGHT OF THE WEEK

A couple 290's but no one topped 300, and since that is a requirement, no one gets the nod.  We're all terrible.

FAIL OF THE WEEK

With the Sunday night goose egg. I really hope this award goes unearned one week, I really do.

That does it for this week's Garbage Time, a lot of interesting match-up's happening this week that can really shake up the standings, the great thing is, it's still anyone's game, even the Heat's. We're off to a great start to the 2016-2017 season, let's keep this train rolling. Until next time...

WEEK 3

The Timberwolves have fallen.  Only the Hornets and Kings remain undefeated. A lot to cover this week, so let's get to it. It's Garbage Time baayyyyybeeeeeeeeeee.

Hit my music.

I imagine Matt must know what it feels like to be the Cubs, because after 108 years, he finally won! With Matt's win, and Joey's loss, we no longer have three undefeated teams and three win-less teams, so congrats guys, we beat the Illuminati. I guess this means Half-Life 3 is never coming out after all. Next week get's even more interesting, with BOTH of our 0-3's facing winnable match ups against the Raptors and Blazers. And if everyone remembers correctly, it was about this time last year that Miami went on a tear, so Bradley might have his hands full this week. Moving on to the undefeated squads. Charlotte eek'd out another close one, while my Kings rolled. The Hornets get a breather in week 4 against a Rockets squad that have struggled to find footing ever since their week one win. On the flip side, my Kings will be handed their toughest test to date in the T-Wolves since I always lose to Joey in Fantasy basketball, but hey, I beat him in Football this week, which is nice. But enough! No more babbling, let's get to the Garbage Time week 3 awards. Quick side note, I wish this was a more physical 'in person' league, if it was, I'd totally get someone an end of the year award for most fails or most blowouts or something. The award would be 'The Golden Trashcan' and it would be... GLORIOUS.

GAME OF THE WEEK

I'll gladly admit I was wrong.  Like many LeBron James detractors, I criticized the Spurs for not being cutthroat enough, and while they weren't, and this game came down to the wire, they did enough to get the job done. And in the end, that's all that matters. Getting the W. It will remain to be seen if the Timberwolves feel they left points on the table, finishing the week with three acquisitions left, and losing by a mere 17.  That has to be sobering. 

This was one of the closest contests we've ever had, and between two perennial contenders at that. The T-Wolves even won the week split four nights to three. But Andrew Wiggins and Draymond Green weren't having it, I mean if both of them posted their season average, Joey, not Heath would have won, hell, if only Andrew Wiggins posted his season average, the Timberwolves would be 3-0 and the Spurs would be in desperation mode. The entire narrative would change. 

This game showed a chink in the Timberwolves armor.  All week Joey outwardly stated that he would lose.  Maybe that attitude in and of itself caused his loss. Maybe he was showing false humility and giving his opponent a nod in good sportsmanship. Maybe he truly believed he would lose. Maybe belief was in fact the cause of his loss. I learned this a long time ago. If you ever go into a game thinking you'll lose, you've already lost.  Maybe that's digging too deep. Maybe it's just fantasy basketball, and random anomalies occur. Maybe. 

The Timberwolves are looking for a bounce-back spot in week 4 against the undefeated Sacramento Kings, while the Spurs have a match-up with Lillard/Butler led Bulls.  

                           

BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK

Something's rotten in the city of Boston.  With only 2696 fantasy points scored on the season, the Boston Celtics are in dead last in fantasy production so far this year. In fact, there is more than 1300 points in difference between the last place Celtics, and first place. That's an entire week's score! And not even a shitty score, like a legit total.  

I don't know the extent that Sam keeps up with his team. I've seen him pick up people, as well as forget to start people. So I know he does pay attention, at least somewhat.  But this week, getting handed his 3rd loss in as many weeks, in a blowout no less, should serve as a wake-up call, or so I hope. We have a long year of basketball ahead of us, and hopefully he can right the ship, he has the ability to make some moves, he just has to make them. 

I'm going to be blunt, even with the absolutely stellar play from DeMar DeRozan so far this season, the Celtics just don't have the talent to win a lot of games, and it's not entirely his fault. His teams legs were cut out from under him with Golden State's acquisition of KD killing Klay Thompson's usage, as well as the move of Victor Oladipo to OKC killing his usage now that he plays alongside Russ. Not to mention LMA has never really regained his production since moving to San Antonio. 

On the brightside, the Celtics have some bright spots in breakout candidate Devin Booker , and Julius Randle. It's definitely a rebuild year, and he, like the real Celtics, are in need of a real star to build around. Like in the case of the real NBA, I would recommend maybe trying to go younger and find teams willing to take on Klay, LMA, and Oladipo at a slight discount and try to get back upside, although I think you can hold on Klay, his shooting slump will turn around at some point. Regardless, the truth still remains, they HAVE to do SOMETHING, and I really hope they will.

As for this game, the Kings swept all seven nights and won by a total of 330.5. The Kings move to 3-0 on the year and face a tough match-up in a hungry Timberwolves squad. I think it's this week that my lack of depth at small forward bites me in the face, I've made some bad acquisitions and drops *cough Dennis Schroder, for the sake of winning games I was already winning. feelsbadman.gif It's really terrible that no trades ever seem beneficial to both sides(I'm working on a solution you can read about at the end of this article!). Heath and I had a back and forth for a while but couldn't reach an agreement so talks just broke down.  Anyways, I'll try to keep it together in week 4, while Boston will look to take a shot against a Portland team that had it's first taste of victory in week 3.

NIGHT OF THE WEEK

We had two scores over 300 this week, but the bomb goes to the Chicago Bulls who had a November 9th total of 320.5 against the Houston Rockets. With Jimmy Butler being his highest scorer of the night with 65.5, Kris had 4 other players top 40 points on the night.

DUD OF THE WEEK

Good news everyone! No one posted a goose egg this week! That's FAN-FUCKIN-TASTIC. The Rockets have the dud this week only managing a paltry 66 points from 3 player's on Sunday's slate.

GARBAGE TIME RANT

Honestly, trading is one of the best parts of fantasy, but we haven't been trading. And I think it's because people, and I'm just as guilty as anyone, either undervalue other peoples players, or overvalue their own, or both. So it's for this reason I am going to work to create a Google docs spreadsheet for our league, it will contain all NBA players, it will be sortable, and it will be sorted by tiers. Tier S, then Tier 1-A, tier 1, tier 2-a, tier 2, and tier 3. This should help give actual value to your players, and garner more understanding, I am even going to highlight upside players that have potential of going up to higher tiers. This is going to be a process so it may take a week or so to get it up, but I will post a link when it does.

  

One thing's for sure, next week is going to be interesting...Stay tuned!

                                               

Week 2

Maybe the roasting I gave the Portland Trailblazers last week lit a fire under their ass.  At least, I hope I can take some credit for their apparent turnaround, and their herculean effort in a heartbreaking loss to the Hornets.  Hey Matt, you should rebrand to the Philadelphia 76ers, you have a lot in common with them this year, and that's not an insult. You come out the gate looking like the same team, but there's so much optimism, and you come so close, and try so hard, only to lose in the final stretch. On the bright side, you're getting a game of the week nod this time around, so keep your chin up. 

At least you're not Boston... Because Boston...There's only ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE YOU, and I'm gonna SPELL. IT. OUT. FOR YA

It was a week of tough matches and blowouts around the league.  Houston put the league on notice that they aren't going to be a pushover like they were last year, while Minnesota and Sacramento reassured everyone that they're still every bit as dominant as they were last season.  

                                                     

Anyways, it's time for the only weekly awards show where the rules are made up and the points don't matter... It's GARBAGE TIME!

GAME OF THE WEEK

Charlotte Hornets vs. Portland Trailblazers

What a heartbreaker for Portland.  Moving to 0-2 in a game that came down to the final day, the Trailblazers seemingly had the Hornets number winning two of the first three days, but Charlotte, determined to remain undefeated, would not be denied, turning in back-to-back wins on night four and five before sealing it up for good on night seven.  Portland looked much better this week, while Charlotte seemed to struggle to hit the same rhythm they had in week one. Portland will hope to right the ship against the also struggling Miami Heat next week, while Logan's Hornets will hope to remain undefeated against the Anthony Davis led Raptors.

BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK

Minnesota Timberwolves vs. Chicago Bulls

Minnesota.went.off. Led by the top fantasy scorer of the week, CP3, Joey took the week 6-1, absolutely humbling the Bulls, outscoring them by more than 500 points and scoring a mammoth total of 1563, the highest total of the week.  Bright side for Chicago is they have a much more manageable matchup this week in the Houston Rockets, while Joey and the Timberwolves have a rematch they nearly lost from last seasons quarterfinals against the San Antonio Spurs.

POSTERIZE OF THE WEEK

(Night of the week)

The Minnesota Timberwolves get this one too with a night three total of 318.5, marking the first team this year to have a 300+ point total on the night.

FAIL OF THE WEEK

The Sam Dekker of the week is the San Antonio Spurs who put up the goose egg on night seven.

NBA is back in full swing, and our league looks to be stronger than ever. I'm still waiting on some teams to make some moves to challenge Joey and myself at the top. We will see how the power rankings shake up this week. It's too early in the year to tell, but I feel the Hornets are on a mission this season, they seem to have the pieces to be a championship contender, and when Joel Embiid is removed from a minutes restriction, it's gonna be scary. *shudder* His biggest fault is the inability to really drop anyone throughout the week. But that's what it takes to win. He's going to have to make some sacrifices or some big roster moves to shore up some bench space so he can make matchup moves every night.  Looking at this roster, I know what i'd do, and who I'd target, but I'm not about to hand out free fantasy advice to the competition. 

That will do it for this edition of Garbage Time, tune in next week when we find out if Portland can finally blaze a trail to victory, or if they can't handle the Heat.

Welcome Back!

Garbage Time Week 1, Spooky Edition

Welcome back to year two of the Stop the Flop Dynasty Basketball League.  

How absurd are Russell Westbrook and Anthony Davis? How more absurd is it that both of their owners lost? Well, at least we can always count on the Trail Blazers losing.

Week one is in the books people, and you know what that means! Fantasy Basketball is back, and so is everyone's favorite time of the week. What time is it? It's Garbage Time!

Let's Get Started...

GAME OF THE WEEK

Minnesota Timberwolves(Joey Payne) vs. Toronto Raptors(Bradley Setzer)

The T-Wolves kicked off their season the same way they ended it last year, with a win. James Harden looks fantastic while the real life Houston Rockets lost to the Lakers, which is great news for Joey, because that means tons of minutes and production from Harden. But I'll tell you, Anthony Davis really, really didn't want Joey to win. You let him down Bradley Setzer. Just like the rest of the Pelicans do every night.

Shame.

UPSET OF THE WEEK

Charlotte Hornets(Logan Stringfield) vs. Miami Heat(Travis Timmons)

I think the Hornets are Miami's kryptonite. They ended their winning streak last year, and they start this year by besting the top fantasy player of the week in Russell Westbrook. Miami will bounce back, but this begins a new chapter for the Hornets. They have a much stronger team this year on the back of returning studs, Kevin Durant and Andre Drummond. Not to mention the new roles of Myles Turner and Jeremy Lin. They could prove themselves to be one of the teams to beat this season. 

BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK

Houston Rockets(Beau Johnson) vs. Portland Trail Blazers(Matt Parlier)

Good on the Rockets for starting the season with a win. Albeit against the Cleveland Browns of our league, the Portland Trail Blazers. With the lowest team total this week of a paltry 721.5 they might be that bad, expansion team bad. When your highest scoring player of the week is Rudy Gay, it might be time to tear it down and start over. But hey, it's only week one, there's still time to right the ship.

DISGRACE OF THE WEEK

Chicago Bulls(Kris Anderson) vs. Boston Celtics(Sam Baker)

This isn't a weekly segment, I just needed to call some bitches out. What even was this game? It looks like neither of you set your lineups for half of the games. On the bright side, you happened to play each other, so it remained close all week while your benches put up points. I just have two words for you guys. Do better. 

STUD OF THE WEEK

Zip, nada, nobody. No one had a night that would let them cash in daily. Sad life. It's astonishing that the night Brow put up 100 fantasy points, Setzer had a full lineup and still didn't manage to break 300.

DUD OF THE WEEK

With the goose egg.

Tune in next week, same garbage time, same garbage channel. In the meantime here's the king of spooky himself David S. Pumpkins with some spooky skeltals. Happy Halloween!