Garbage Time Week 6

This is gonna be a short one this week, I feel like ass. No real upsets this week, probably another rankings shakeup though. Anyway, here we go.

Game of the Week

I can't catch a fucking break. I lose Millsap for the season and Wall for an extended period in back to back weeks. Honestly, I'm surprised I was able to keep it close at all.  We traded wins night after night, and played hot potato with the lead until it all came down to Sunday, I've already spoken on that, but Logan got it man, no saltiness on my end, well at least not anymore.  Injuries happen, and while you want competitive games, and to beat opponents at their best, you take what you're given. Charlotte won 1211-1177. The Hornets are currently trailing the Blazers in week 7 by 30, while the Pelicans are 100 up on the Heat and will need every point of it for night 2.  Looking ahead, I really feel like my team is going to fall apart, I used to have depth, but making a hail mary play of dropping Hayward and Millsap to try to push for a win, only to have it blow up in my face tilted me hard, I'm not gonna lie, and I just don't have the depth I once did. I can only hope IT2 becomes available for me sooner rather than later.

Game of the Week #2

I really thought Heath was going to pull off the upset and continue his ascent, but NEH-EH. Bradley wasn't having none of that! Although neither of them used hardly any acquisitions, Toronto 2 to San Antonio's 0. I dunno man, I think I might have been right in my call last week, where San Antonio starts losing because he doesn't appear to have players he's comfortable with dropping. He might have to actually make a big trade to open some slots if he wishes this loss to simply be a bump in the road. The Raptors move to 5-1 on the season, reclaiming the top spot in the rankings. Meanwhile the Spurs now share the same record as the Knicks. Both teams are facing 1-5 record teams this week in the Rockets and Bulls.

Sorry for the short write-up, but I'm gonna go back to coughing up a lung now. See you next time.

Garbage Time Week 5 ramblings and awards.

Boys, I done kilt me a dinosar!  The undefeated Raptors fell, the Heat barely made it to room temperature, and the Bulls fucking won! I even found footage of the event.

What a fuckin' week, eh boys? This is the first time so far that I've actually wanted to recount the games. Everyone but the Miami Tepid Bathwater and the New York Pizza's had game of the week candidates. We had comebacks and heartbreak, we had upsets, we had a return to glory, and what could be the beginning of a fall from grace. And guess what???  I'm gonna cover it all.

First up...

Holy fucking shit balls. The Cleveland Browns Chicago Bulls just beat the Patriots Charlotte Hornets.  Like, I don't have words.  I'm sure Logan was expecting to get lambasted over this, but Jesus Fucking Christ what happened? Were you too distracted by War Games and Survivor Series man? Kudos to Kris for wanting to prove he wasn't a bye week, but damn. Maybe it wasn't that bad,hold on let me check our power ran....Nope, yeah, he's ranked last and the Hornets are were ranked first...  It's that bad. Good news is that this proves anything can happen. The bad news is that anything can happen.  And happen it did! After both teams came out of the gate strong on night one, the Hornets had a solid lead. However, a small Tuesday slate proved to be just the opportunity Kris needed to take the lead in night two. Night three was a close contest with only a 3.5 point difference which allowed Kris to end night 3 with a .5 point lead over Logan.  Neither team was able to take advantage of yet another small slate on Thursday, but allowed Logan to take a meager 15 point lead heading into Friday. Another night, another close score, as the Bulls eek out Friday with a score of 255.5-251.5.  Logan was barely holding on at this point with only 11 points separating him and total humiliation.  He needed to win night 6 handily and put this game away. Win it, he did, but not by enough. He managed to pad his lead by another 14 points, so if you kiddies are keeping score at home the Hornets are up by 25, leading 947.5- 922.5.  Game 7 would decide it.  The Charlotte Hornets nursing a small lead with 6 players headed by star Center Nikola Jokic, and The Chicago Bulls with 7 players headed by a Wall-less Bradley Beal. The Bulls and Hornets would both need a solid night, and with everything at stake, the Hornets fell apart. Against a Lakers team that allows almost 55 fantasy points per game to the Center position, and in a game where Paul Millsap exited in the first half, Jokic laid a turd. 6 Points and 6 Rebounds against the Lakers? Are you fucking kidding me? Brook Lopez doesn't even know how to spell defense, let alone play it.  I guess it's kismet that Kris owned Brook Lopez for this game, because he went above average for 37 points to Jokic's absurdly disappointing 18.5.  This performance would sum up Logan's night as none of his players managed to crack the 30 point mark, while 5 of Kris' 7 players managed to hit 30 or better. The night ended 217.5-131.5, giving the Bulls the game.set.and match. They always say the first win is the hardest, and now that Kris has had a taste, I'm sure he's hungry for #2.  He'll get his chance against a reeling Trailblazer squad who's lost 2 straight and is desperate to never fall to the bottom of the ranks again.  Meanwhile, Logan, who is also on an 0-2 run, faces me, who is currently on an 4-0 run, it should be a match to watch, especially since I may have lost John Wall, Tim Hardaway Jr., and Paul Millsap for an indeterminate period of time.

Comeback of the Week

For those of you that only pay attention to your own teams, and not everything else going on week to week, you may have missed this game.  I mean it's the Rockets losing, that's not unusual. Right? Well, except that for most of the week, the Rockets were winning. The Rockets won nights 1,3,and 5 by a difference of 191.5 points! You may then ask, what the fuck went wrong? Well friends, I'll tell you. Better yet, let me show you with a potato.

He may hate me for it, but I think it's his own fault. Now granted, he had some shitty nights from some of his players later in the week, but he had 4/7 acquisitions. That's the same as leaving points on the bench.  Am I saying, if he used all 7, he would have won? No, but what I am saying is, they lost by less than 50 points, and any 3 players combined on a given night can attain that, go a step further and imagine if he had picked up a player who had a game on more than 1 night that he was missing players, and that's easy to make up. I think that after night 1 and night 3, the Rockets got comfortable, and that cost them, because little did he know, the Spurs ain't nothin' to fuck with. The Rocket's are a much better team their record suggests (6th in points scored(500 more than the Spurs), 1st in points against), and anyone that thought the Spurs would win this match-up handily, haven't been paying attention. But the Spurs are on a mission, and they've made the moves necessary to overcome most obstacles in this league.  I know the Rockets are salty after that loss, and it's a long season, but the time to right the ship is now for the Rockets, and they will have that chance against a very beatable Knicks team in week 6, and if I know anything about Beau, it's that he knows how to take down some pizza.  Week 6 has another test for the Spurs as they take on the 4-1 Raptors. The Spurs are looking for their 3rd straight win, and acknowledgment as a top contender, while the Raptors will look to prove their first loss was merely a setback on their road to the championship.

Blowout of the Week

It all started with a post.

Both teams sitting at 1-win were talking a big game. Then the potato happened.

We all laughed. Savage AF.

The Heat apparently let too much of that 'steam' loose, and by the end of the week, weren't even hot enough to reheat Bobby's cold pizza. The Knicks blew out the Heat 1193-902.5, which, to be fair is a pretty shitty blowout, every other game just happened to be closer. But Miami had the highest point scorer of the week in DeMar DeRozan, so he's got that going for him, which is nice. The Heat will more than likely begin to reach subzero temperatures in week 6 against the Minnesota JoeyWolves, while the Knicks will try to reach 3 wins by clogging up the Rockets boosters with some old pizza.

Don't Call it a Comeback

Joey after night 7,"Man, that was a close call, I almost lost my third straight game, Matt Parlier's team is no joke."

Matt after night 7,"Fuck me, not again, of course Joey fucking beat me." 

In what's becoming a biannual league tradition, The Timberwolves came from behind to beat the Trailblazers in what has to be the biggest heart-breaker for Matt in the Dynasty era, and increases Joey's wins to 5-0 in the meetings.

Posting a 241-78.5 night on Saturday must have felt amazing, but going into Sunday with the lead guarantees nothing. And unfortunately for Portland, I'm sure any elation soon dissipated as soon as he looked at Sunday's lineup.  Matt simply ran out of players, and only had 3 to go up against a full slate from Minnesota.  For Joey, this was a much needed win that stemmed the bleeding from an 0-2 slide.  For Matt, this was more a matter of personal pride than record, as I feel he wants to beat Joey as badly as Beau wants to beat me. Either way, things aren't looking good, as the Trailblazers have gone from 3-0 to 3-2 while only being 5th in points scored and 9th in points against. The Trailblazers have a tricky match-up in week 6 where they'll look to Stop the Flop when they face the Bulls, who on one hand are 1-4, while on the other, just defeated the Hornets. It's a must-win situation for both teams, but especially the Trailblazers, where the competition in the west is much stiffer. Joey, on the other hand, will look to start a run by cooling down the already tepid Heat, shouldn't take more than an ice cube or two.

If I learned one thing this week, it's you can't count the Raptors out. Ever. I held a 200 point lead for most of the week, including the only 300 point night in the league for the week. Night 1-4 went by swimmingly, then night 5, Bradley started to mount a comeback, winning consecutive nights back to back, including a crushing 236-96.5 Saturday. Going into Sunday I only had a 20 point lead, John Wall was declared out for Sunday's game, and I only had a 1-player advantage over Bradley's Raptors. For the first time all week, I thought,"I.could.lose.this." As the games started, fear took hold, Bradley passed me. I didn't check the score again until the last games started, I wanted to holdout hope for as long as possible, but I didn't feel good about it. Allen Crabbe went for 33, DeMarre Carroll for 34.5, Bogdanovic for 34, ALL OF HIS GUYS WERE GOING OFF...Then my steal of the year, Andre Drummond, and TJ Warren started showing up in the 2nd half, going for 55 and 47.5 respectively.  I retook the lead heading into the 10:30 game, where he had Brandon Ingram remaining and I had Paul Millsap and Julius Randle. Millsap went for 14 fantasy points in the first quarter, then left the game with an injury, a comeback was unlikely at this point, but if one thing is for certain in this game, it's never say never. However, thankfully for me, on this night, Julius Randle was outplaying Brandon Ingram and kept my lead intact to win 1341-1282, not only upsetting the Raptors by handing them their first loss, but also becoming the first and only team to break the 6000 point mark on the season. The Toronto Drakes have a tough match this week as they face the Up-and-coming Spurs, who'd like to cement their contender status with a win over the #1 seed. My Pelicans, too, have a rough go-ahead against the Hornets who are on an 0-2 skid and will look to resume winning sooner, rather than later.

Looking Ahead:
Match-ups to watch in Week 6

Week 4 Wrap-Up

The Rockets win, the Blazers and Hornets fall, and Joey is .500 for the first time in his career. What a fuckin' week.

STF after week 4

The league is in kind of a shitstorm. Apparently the only teams who's points scored reflects their record are the Minnesota Timberwolves (5th), the Knicks (9th), and the Chicago Hader-Vaneks Bulls (10th). This is probably the first, and last time those two teams share any categorical stat with Joey.

In the Eastern Conference, It's a tale of two teams, and in the latest chapter, Toronto has claimed the throne. Bradley sits alone at 4-0 with a horseshoe planted firmly up his ass with the least points scored against in the league(same as last week), while only bolstering the 4th most points scored(5th last week, so he is trending up).  Call me biased, but hopefully his streak comes to an end this week against...well...me. 

Meanwhile, in the much more competitive West, the Trail Blazers have a half a game on my Pelicans for the top spot, with the Spurs and Timberwolves tied for 3rd. San Antonio has done some amazing roster maneuvering lately and stands to be a real threat unless he's painted himself into a corner of having too many good players and limiting his weekly drop/add options. The season's still young, and as it stands now, it's anybody's game. Not even the Rockets are out of contention.

Now without further ado...

Shitshow of the Week

In this week's episode of 'which team can manage to be worse than the other', Miami decided it's not gonna take it anymore! He saw the ridicule-filled doldrums for which he was headed and said 'No more!' Although the Bulls managed to win 2 nights, Travis' Heat thrashed the Bulls 1257-900.5 in a mostly one-sided contest. Now, it says the Bulls used all 7 of their match-up acquisitions, which makes the fact that Kris is obviously trying all the more sad. "Hey Kris, you're supposed to use your acquisitions on night's when you don't have players." XD Looking ahead to week 5, the Heat get a very winnable match-up against some stale pizza. Meanwhile the end of the tunnel still isn't within sight, as the Bulls drew the short straw and face what is very possibly a pissed off Hornets squad that is seeking redemption following their first loss of the season.

Blowout of the Week

While technically the Heat had the biggest blowout win of the week, I'll be damned if I give this award to the two special needs kids playing tee-ball.  Instead, this match-up gets this award.  While, personally, based on my regular season record against Joey, I'd call this an upset, but truth be told, when either of us wins, it never really is. The upset of this game, in my opinion, was that it didn't come down to the last night, and wasn't the game of the week that I had predicted it would be. I don't know if it was an off-week for the Wolves or what, but what started as a week of elation for me turned to indifference by week's end.

Joey will even probably agree with me when I say the 1267-1091.5 score didn't really feel as close as the numbers show. My Pelicans held the lead all seven nights and won handily on the back of my son's 155 fantasy points. I know our teams aren't the same as in years past, but after day three this just felt...different.  I'm not saying it's the end but after three years, maybe our storied rivalry has run it's course. However, my goals did not begin and end with the Timberwolves, I'm still determined to claim the throne, this was merely step one. "The King is dead, long live the King." Next up: The Raptors. 

Upset of the Week       

The Spurs ain't playin' around. Their deal for Stephen Curry immediately paid dividends as the Spurs felled the previously undefeated Trail Blazers in a close game.  I suppose Heath was tired of getting lost in the shuffle as an 'also-ran' and used this game to prove he's a threat to be reckoned with. Despite an absolutely bonkers week from James Harden, Matt's Blazers just couldn't get the job done against the underdog Spurs, and suffered his first defeat of the season with a score of 1134-1059 in a game of the week candidate. Looking ahead to week 5, the Spurs are going to look to keep the ball rolling against the Rockets, while the Blazers are going to be in for a fight against the Minnesota Timberwolves that are on a 2 loss skid.

Game of the Week

All eyes were on this game, as the winner would likely be claiming first place in the standings going into week 5. The 3-0 Raptors, whom people had considered 'overrated', faced the 3-0 Hornets, whom many had already crowned as the 'best team' in the league. You expect games like this to go down to the wire, and all-in-all, it did, until limited position options forced Logan to leave 44.5 points on the bench on the 10th, and his team just straight let him down on the 11th.  What should have been an easy 300 point night, instead resulted in disappointing performances from Mike Conley, Jrue Holiday,  LeBron James, and Nikola Vucevic. Mike Conley, in particular has been a disappointment for the Hornets, and might find himself being shipped out of Charlotte sooner, rather than later.  Toronto, on the other hand, ignored all the negativity surrounding him and showed LeBron isn't the only one deserving of the title 'King'. Sitting undefeated, it's pretty easy to block out the noise of all the haters, especially if you believe your own hype, and it's apparent that Bradley does. He's in rare air now, and all alone atop the mountain.  It begs the question, "Can anyone stop him?"  He takes on the Pelicans next week, and having won 3 straight, I believe I have a chance to put the first chink in his armor.  The Hornets, on the other hand face the Chicago Bulls  have a bye.

That's all for this week, if anyone has any feedback, or suggestions on awards you would like to be featured, I can add/replace or whatever, just let me know in the Facebook comments, I do this for you guys, so anything I can do to make it more entertaining, lmk.

Early Season Impressions and awards, plus week 3 wrap-up

Sorry for slacking guys, my schedule has been hectic to begin the season, and as far as a weekly blog was concerned...

But, good news everyone! I'm back and ready to talk Fantasy Basketball with a level of snark and jadedness only yours truly can provide, or so I thought, Matt Parlier really stepped his game up, maybe this blog isn't even required anymore, but hey there's no such thing as too many blogs dedicated to telling everyone how shit the Chicago Bulls are, in fact, the only team that might be worse than the Bulls, is well, the real Chicago Bulls.  

Welcome back 'errbody! Let's start with the obvious... We blew this mother fucker up.  It was obvious everyone just feared my impending ascension to the throne, so the obvious answer was to Michael Bay the shit out of the league before my dynasty could begin.

But I'm not worried, I shall take my rightful place alongside Joey in our league's pantheon soon enough, it is my destiny. But for realsies, it needed to be done, and in doing so we cut our worst team (The Celtics) Which in kind of an ironic turn the first logo I made had the Celtics logo instead of the Bulls by mistake, I guess all bad teams look the same to me. We also added a new member in Bobby Moore. I'd like to formally welcome you to the brotherhood, while adding this.

I'm the one that 'hates' you. Come at me bro.

Well not 'hate'. Hate is a strong word. It's more like, you know when someone cuts you off in traffic, or you walk into a restroom and you watch some guy walk out without flushing or washing his hands, and internally, you're just like, "fuck that guy"? Well, that's how I felt about you. I could get into the mental spiral of why, and then the why behind the why, etc. but that shit's boring,  And it doesn't matter anyway, after I verbalized it to Matt in the survey, I didn't care anymore, so we're all good homie.

Now that that's done with, let's get on with this shit show.

So, after three weeks, we have three undefeated teams.  And by the looks of the way this week is going, there's only going to be one remaining heading into week five, who that is remains to be seen, because the Hornets and Raptors are having a barn burner this week. More on that later, because now we have to talk about weeks 1-3...

Week 1 Awards

Blowout of the Week

2016

2017

I'm Mr. 14-4. I'm the Peyton Manning of goddamned fantasy basketball, while Joey's been Tom Terrific. I've been a regular season god, but always seem to come up short of the big one. I was eliminated by Joey in the finals in 2015 and 2016 and ousted by Heath in the semi's in 2017.  Meanwhile, the Portland Trailblazers traded their best player to the Timberwolves in 2016 for magic beans and stayed at the bottom of the rankings year over year. In fact, as Matt Parlier pointed out in his article, he has never beaten me. And honestly, it's never been close. Over two seasons, I've beaten Matt's Trailblazers, previously the Failblazers, by a accumulated 1344.5 points. That's over 330 points per game. And he destroyed me week one.  I've never lost a game before week 4 before, let alone gotten blown out in week one. Hell, I didn't even break a thousand, which has only happened twice in my entire fucking career. Meanwhile, I'm not sure Matt's managed to win a game in the first 4 weeks since we've been a dynasty league prior to this season either. But kudos brother, you fucking wrecked me by two hundo #feelsgoodman.  Looks like you're having a rough go of it this week with the Spurs, and you have Joey next week, so good luck with that. I'm in the same boat though, if I can pull this week out against Joey, I have Bradley's Raptors to look forward to next week, 'yay me', he says sarcastically...

Game of the Week

I mean...I guess? It was the closest game, but seeing as the Hornets are sitting at 3-0 and the New York Pizza Slices are at 1-2 and might be going to 1-3 this week due to Beau's injury bug hitting KD at the right time and missing Whiteside for once, the closeness of this game was chalked up mostly to having half of his roster being lucky enough to play opening night. This game is more of a testament to how good Logan's team really is, he overcame a night one deficit of 110 on a shortened week to win by 10. After the tough matchup this week, the Hornets get a bye week against the Bulls in week 5, while the Knicks try to put up a win against the also currently winless Miami Heat.

Week 2 Awards

I know what you're thinking. "Wait, aren't there usually more of these?" And you're right, but this is already gonna be a hella long article, so I thought I'd shorten it a bit. 

Blowout(s) of the Week

All of these were lopsided AF, The Winning teams collective record is 11-1, while the losing teams collective record is the inverse at 1-11. What a coinkidink.  The Hornets/Miami game isn't included on this list because the game literally came down to Charlotte going off for 307 to 83.5 on night 7.

Game of the Week

A rematch of the 2016-2017 finals took place in week two and did not disappoint, the T-Wolves jumped out to a big lead early, and try as he might, despite a valiant effort, came up short. Despite starting 1-2 the Spurs are looking to turn it around early and are on pace to beat the undefeated Blazers this week, while I may pull the upset and beat Joey in our first meeting of the season.

Week 3 Awards

Blowout of the Week

These are getting shorter and shorter because I'm sick of typing, I'm sorry guys, but I'm really not sorry, except I feel like I'm putting out shit content just to put out content, and for that I am sorry. Should be better next week. 

My Pelicans came through big for the 2nd week in a row after an abysmal week one to down the Spurs 1318-1153, my week was bolstered by an absolutely insane single night score

of 335, while the Spurs only managed a high of 244 on the week. The Spurs have since bolstered their roster with a lopsided AF trade for Steph Curry, I'm fucking sorry, but that was dumb, a number 1 pick should never go for 2 mid-rounders, unless they completely bust. I expect Heath will return to being a contender moving forward.

Game of the Week

In what could very well be a preview of this years finals, the Hornets handily defeated the Timberwolves 1357.5-1281.5.  And again, the game all came down to Sunday, where the Hornets put up a +76.5 over Joey's Wolves thanks to monster games by the Unicorn and the King.  And wouldn't you know it, Logan won by 76 points. The Hornets are on a roll, standing atop the mountain at 3-0 currently, but he's not alone. We'll have to wait til next week to find out if he's the last man standing. The Timberwolves, meanwhile, seem to be in a bit of a flux due to what's really been a lackluster year from KAT and Kyle Lowry, but you know, he will find some way to flip Jeff Teague for Anthony Davis or something and right the ship soon enough.

I'll be back next week with a week 4 recap that will be far more in depth and just...ya know...better.  Until then, I'm out.

WEEK 7 WRAP-UP

I always find the best part of the fantasy football playoffs lately to be that I get to just coast and finally give all of my attention to the NBA season.  Joey touched on this in the dynasty football league that we are a part of, but fantasy football is a fucking crapshoot. It's so bloody random. And he's 100% correct. 

Basketball has no such problems. Sure, guys can have bad nights, but you generally know what you're getting with each game, the avg fppg statistic actually means something. Having a full 7 nights also gives you chance after chance after chance to pull out a win, and not just lose because your best player decided to shit a brick one night. 

Basketball is more of a time investment than football, but that investment actually pays dividends most of the time. The research you do, the numbers you run, they all mean something. There is no world that exists where your #1 draft pick in fantasy basketball doesn't finish around the same position you drafted him in barring sweeping changes to their situation. The only player that I could really label a complete bomb relative to their draft position is LaMarcus Aldridge. But in football? your lucky if your 1st pick finishes in the top 10 at their position let alone overall. Case in point? For my work league, which is 12-team PPR, the 2nd pick of our draft? Todd Gurley. Sad life for that guy. But for the NBA? If we go back to our draft from last year, the top 10 is virtually the same as it would be this year, were we to redraft, the only difference would be the ascension of Whiteside and Giannis knocking Dame, CP3, or Kawhi to the 2nd round.

TL;DR: Fantasy Basketball is so much better than football. 

Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let's talk shop. This week pretty much kept the status quo. The only upset was the Celtics eeking one out against the Raptors. Could this be the start of a turn around? Just remember:

Without further ado, on with the show! It's Garbage Time bayyyyybeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK

Logan did to Kris, what Sam Dekkar did to Enes Kanter. He straight embarrassed him.  If you need visual representation, here's exhibit A.

You wouldn't know it by the end result, but Kris actually won two nights. But he also neglected to set his lineup multiple nights as well, leading to a complete humiliation to the tune of 500 points. This makes three losses in a row for the Bulls, and two wins in a row for the Hornets. The Bulls face a Raptors squad reeling from a Celtics loss this week, while the Hornets will try to increase their lead in Eastern Conference against a top-ranked Kings squad that have won their last three contests.

GAME OF THE WEEK

If the past two weeks have taught me anything, it's that I now believe that Sam and his Celtics actually do give a shit and are committed to this league and to turning around their team. The Celtics desperately needed this win, and they got it. And from the looks of it, the Rockets, Blazers, and Heat could take some notes, because this could mark the beginning of a winning streak for the C's and fantasy player of the week LeBron James, who's looking like the winning side of that blockbuster deal with the Minnesota Timberwolves. Boston took the week four nights to three including a 300 burger night one over the Raptors who have now lost in back to back weeks. The Raptors will fight to move up the standings while hoping the Bulls forget to set their lineups again in week eight. While Boston draws a very winnable match-up against the still floundering Miami Heat who are now 1-6 after a blowout loss to the Spurs in week seven.

NIGHT OF THE WEEK

The C's were the only squad to post a 300+ point night this week.  They hit 313.5 on night one on the back of Klay Thompson's absurd 60-real point night in 29 minutes against the Indiana Pacers.

That will do it for this week's Garbage Time. Next week will see the results of two potential upsets with the Trail Blazers taking on the Timberwolves, and the Rockets taking on the Spurs.  Meanwhile, a game of the week candidate in the making with Charlotte vs. Sacramento. Until next time!

Week 5&6 Wrap Up

After the Holiday weekend and getting a little much needed R&R, it's time to get back to the grind. But seeing as I have two weeks to cover, I thought I'd shake it up a bit, so instead of two of each award, one for each week, I'm going to add some awards and stretch them to cover both weeks. So without further ado, welcome to this week's special 2-week edition of Garbage Time!

A Contender falls...

It's been a rough couple weeks for Kris and the Bulls. Kid can't catch a break. The Bulls went into last week as one of four teams with a 3-1 record, faces my Kings, I go off on a short week, posting three 300 point games, then proceeds to get blown out by the 'self-proclaimed worst team' Portland Trailblazers. #feelsbadman. The Bulls managed to go from a .750 win percentage to .500 in two weeks is rough, and his road to redemption isn't getting any easier in week seven.  

Meanwhile, in other league news, Joey traded LeBron to the Celtics, whom Sam subsequently tried to give away for peanuts. Oh, and Miami finally won a game! It's still amazing to me that I'm just now saying that in week seven, when before the season started, the Heat were viewed as a contender, but instead their seasons kind of mirroring the Carolina Panthers. 

Now that we've caught up a bit, let's get down to it. Who's been the best? Who's been the worst? Who's posted point totals that would shame their mothers? It's that time again, it's Garbage Time!

TEAM OF THE WEEK

Numbers don't lie.  My Kings are looking pretty good lately. Boogie's balling out with a broken finger on his shooting hand, thus making him the only player in the NBA currently capable of playing through an injury. And while he may not put up Russell Westbrook numbers, he did ample in delivering me, not only to first place in total points scored overall, but the top total score in both week five and six, and contributed to four 300 point nights, putting the Chicago Bulls on a 2-game skid, and spoiling the Rocket's first 300 point night of the season in a week Joey and I both thought we were both destined to lose. But turns out Destiny is a fickle bitch and we both spoke too soon.

DUMPSTER FIRE OF THE WEEK

The Celtics continued their year of continued all-around awfulness posting the lowest overall 2-week total, in route to two losses to take their overall record to 1-5. It wasn't for a lack of trying though, as Sam made the first blockbuster trade of the season, moving DeMar DeRozan, and acquiring LeBron James from the Minnesota Timberwolves. I mean it's two seasons in a row, and Joey has made two trades involving LeBron James in which both teams that weren't the Timberwolves began horrible losing streaks. Not saying there's a connection, but you know, just sayin'.

MATCH OF THE WEEK

This was a tough one to decide, My first instinct told me to pick the week five match between the Spurs and Hornets. Good game, between two contenders, that came down to a last-ditch effort by the Hornets falling short. Great story, I had even written up an entire paragraph already, but as I poured over the numbers to look for drama, what I saw wasn't the back-and-forth slobber-knocker the end result represented. Instead, I saw a week where the Hornets never actually had a lead, had unused acquisitions, and where the Spurs had actually used 0 acquisitions, so he essentially won with no effort.  So here is the actual MotW winner.

This game was ridiculous, the runner-up for this was Minnesota vs. Miami, but there was one subtle difference. The number of lead changes.  While Minnesota, ironically, also took over control of the game on 12/2 with a 300 point night as the Kings did. The Kings started the week with the lead before ceding nights two and three and landing in a 117 point deficit on the back of Beau's first 300 point night. Things looked bleak until December 2nd when I posted my own 300 point night and seized the lead for the 2nd time and denied Beau's wish to hold a win over my head for the rest of time. So all I have to say is, SUCK IT BEAU, I WIN!

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COMEBACK OF THE WEEK

The Heat's quest for a 2nd win seemed all but assured through the first four nights of the week until Joey decided to show he was actually Dwight Howard playing basketball with a child all along and do this.

A 302 point night five ripped victory from the jaws of defeat and pushed the Timberwolves to 5-1 through six weeks.

NIGHT OF THE WEEK

Remember, remember the (twenty)fifth of November. Or at least, that's what I would be saying if Logan wasn't an absolute madman and decided to go off for 337 points on November 30th.  Only two, TWO, of his players had LESS THAN 40! Completely ridiculous. Well played, sir.

HOT GARBAGE OF THE WEEK

No one's getting this award, but instead Thanksgiving itself is. Because there was no basketball, and when there is no basketball, it is a sad day.

That's all folks! Week seven has a chance to cause a lot of upsets, so we shall see what's in store. I can't wait

Week 4 and What Just Happened

No undefeated's remain, while Miami remains as the lone win-less team.

Week four guys...Just damn...So many close games...(and this is for Logan, but can I just say one minute and twenty-five seconds? Fucking REALLY!?) Between that, AJ Green tearing his hamstring, Casey Neistat ending his vlog, and just the emotional roller coaster that was following the final few minutes of last nights games all while watching my week four total slowly creep up only to fall short. I'm just drained this morning, I can only handle so much disappointment, but time drudges on and so must I, I only offer this disclaimer, this may seem, at times to be a bad beat article, it's not, it has a point, bare with me, I think you'll be glad you did, let's do this thing. 

GAME OF THE WEEK

Some losses just hurt more than others. Maybe it's frustration from waking up at 12:30 and not being able to add a player when I had one claim remaining...maybe it's all the injuries my team has and the not having the IR available to hold them...maybe it's my team getting my hopes up, and the only thing that could save me, overtime, happening, before being taken away, in this instance.                               

Maybe, it's because, when it comes to basketball, I always lose to Joey. Last year's finals, last year regular season, finals the year before that, and the finals the year before that. I had essentially accepted that it was going to happen again, but my team decided to keep me hopelessly optimistic and when the above happened, I saw 102-102 on my phone with no time remaining.

I was down seven points, I have Boogie in play, and Rondo, and Robin Lopez, I have a chance. Then nope...clock malfunction apparently, I see two things happen, score changes to 102-99, and Boogie loses 2 points. Down by nine. Three minutes left in the Bulls-Lakers game. Lopez is not in the game, Rondo is, he get's an assist, then a rebound, then another rebound, I'm within 5. Swaggy P hits a 3, to make the game 110-112. Forty-five seconds remaining. It could happen...This game could go to OT. Only problem. My phone said it as 110-112, says bad pass, Taj Gibson turnover, I get optimistic again, it's going to happen. As if my team was willing this overtime into existence. But it wouldn't happen, the score, for whatever reason didn't update, it was actually 110-115. Game ends 110-118. My night ends. Down five.

It's like a cosmic joke, they dangled a carrot in my face then took it away...This all leads to a bunch of hypothetical's and what-if's that I'm sure all of you undergo weekly. What if I woke up an hour earlier? Had an extra player? Surely they would have won me the game, actually yes, I was planning on adding Luol Deng in the revenge spot, he didn't do great, but 15 points would have done it. But that's fantasy. See I could have added him, just as Boogie could have had a decent game, I mean it was against Jonas after all, everyone goes off on Jonas. But instead, Jonas went the fuck off, in what was another twist of the knife, Jonas had a Boogie-like score, while Boogie had a Jonas-like score. That Raptors-Kings overtime could have happened as well.

But it didn't. Timberwolves win it, fair and square, both teams move to 3-1.

It's the best of what I love and hate about fantasy. So many things can go wrong, or right, and yet it elicits real emotion. Anything can happen, it was a fucking roller coaster, and I come out the other side emotionally drained, not because I'm mad, or upset... Disappointed, sure, but no, I emerge from this week drained because I fucking love it. It's why I write this article every week, and play season after season. It's for games like these.

In the end I can only elicit one response to Joey, my friend, who has been my rival these past seasons, and that is this...Good Game.

BLOWOUT OF THE WEEK

What happened to the Heat guys? They pulled a Carolina Panthers this year, going from a contender and favorite before the season to just being, as Charles Barkley would say, turrible. If you told me before the season started, that the team that has Westbrook would be win-less through week 4,  I would have laughed. But here we are.

I don't even know if Travis is trying, 1/7 acquisitions used? Gonna try to convince me E'Twaun Moore and J.R. Smith are too valuable to drop? You're gonna lose that argument bruh. 

1307-756, that's just embarrassing. Not saying the Heat could have won, 1300 is a lot, but you could have tried.  Good on Bradley though, that's back-to-back 1300 point games heading into week 5 against a Trail Blazers team that's determined to usurp the Heat for the bottom of the standings. The Heat, meanwhile, get a match-up with the newly cemented 2-win Houston Rockets.

UPSET OF THE WEEK

The Rocket's have won two games, it's all ogre now, might as well pack it in for the season. In what can only be described as an absolute shocker, Beau's Houston Rocket's toppled the undefeated Charlotte Hornets four of the seven nights to win with a final score of 1413.5-1327.5, all on the back of the Fantasy player of the week, Hassan Whiteside's, who's rocketing up the player rankings (pun definitely intended) as well, with a good showing of 233 fantasy points, an average of 58.25 per game. Week 5 will see the Rocket's try to extend their winning streak to 2 against the abysmal Miami Heat, while the Hornet's get a much tougher match-up against the 2-2 Spurs. 

NIGHT OF THE WEEK

A couple 290's but no one topped 300, and since that is a requirement, no one gets the nod.  We're all terrible.

FAIL OF THE WEEK

With the Sunday night goose egg. I really hope this award goes unearned one week, I really do.

That does it for this week's Garbage Time, a lot of interesting match-up's happening this week that can really shake up the standings, the great thing is, it's still anyone's game, even the Heat's. We're off to a great start to the 2016-2017 season, let's keep this train rolling. Until next time...